Grease rustling has hit the nation! The New York Times says thefts of the so-called “yellow grease” generated at fast food joints and highly valued by biodiesel drivers, have occurred in 20 states.. Not such a surprise, I suppose, with gas– at the cheapo station down Echo Park Boulevard — hitting $4.27 a gallon. But why has it reached such levels, so damn fast? I mean, we’re supposedly consuming 5% or 6% LESS gas than this time last year. Gas prices have spiked a dollar in six weeks! Depends on who you ask, actually. Maybe it’s all because of China and India and their gas-guzzling ways and crazy-gargantuan populations, growing more infinite every day. Maybe it’s the Nigerian rebels’ threats on Africa’s largest oil installations. Maybe it’s those greedy investors’ “speculative excess” throwing all their gold into crude oil. Maybe it’s the refineries deliberately cutting back production to manufacture a shortage. Maybe we really are running out of crude oil! Maybe it’s all (another) Bush conspiracy. Time to break out those walking shoes.